For Me

It's amazing how life can be so wonderful and exciting and at the same time so stressful. It's not working keeping things bottled up inside so maybe if I write them down I'll feel better. Therapy. (Feel free to not read this post as it's full of whine.)

I'm tired of this recession. I'm tired of being financially strained. It's so frustrating that Jayson and I are college educated and we're having the hard time that we are. Why did we spend so money on our education if it's not doing anything for us? I'm constantly worried about money, but I try not to let it show. Lately, though, I don't think I've been very successful. I try to have faith, but it's not always easy. I know Heavenly Father has something in store for us, I just wish I knew what it was and when it would happen. Maybe then I could sleep.

I'm ready to have this baby. This time has been so different from Bailey, but it has it's own struggles. I'm still taking the Zofran (anti-nausea). I wish I could get through the day without it, but I can't. At least it stops the sickies completely. I'm uncomfortable ALL OF THE TIME. I think he's sitting much lower than Bailey did, so there is a lot of discomfort. I'm able to nap almost every day, but I don't have much energy, which is hard for Bailey. She wants to play and go to the park, but the thought of chasing her up and down play equipment and down slides is exhausting. Two months.

On a brighter, less whiny note. Bailey typically gets up once in the middle night. We change her diaper, giver her a bottle and she falls right back to sleep. 5 minutes tops. The other night though, she would not go back to sleep. She didn't cry, she didn't want to play. In fact she lay quietly in her bed. But she kept looking off over my shoulder. Every so often she would smile. Once she even sat up, lifted her shirt to show her tummy and smiled. I don't know who was there, but I firmly believe someone was there playing with her. Her baby brother maybe?